A Top-5 of male DNA providers…

14 Mar

… may come handy in those times when world news are slightly apocalyptic. When I ask my own gametes where should I look for a match (a question, my little shrimps, you know to be quite distinct with the question of beauty), here’s what they have to say.

Don’t expect anything fancy: DNAs are a boring bunch, always looking for the same old features Manolo (who tends to be a Platonist) think are written in the Heaven of Intelligible Ideas. Or equivalently, that’s what life wrote in my lady parts to look for in order to make babies. Which is gross.

#5: David Bowie, even better after Let’s Dance.

Beau Brummel does rock

Of course lots of rock stars are hot. But Ziggy’s in a league of his own.

#4: Vincent Cassel, anytime since La haine.

French candy

With a distinctive touch of french mauvais genre.

#3: Brad Pitt, circa Fight Club or Snatch.

Yeah, I know I'm alone on this one.

Hollywood hasn’t offered anything to top that in terms of gamete-hysteria-inducing bastard.

#2: Sean Connery, in the sixties.

So classic it hurts

Well, actually, Hollywood gave us Daniel Craig, who is hot as sh*t. But the competition is too tough here, even for the mean blond Bond.

#1: Steve McQueen, in the seventies.

The guy was even hotter than the actor. Who can top that?

You got me at the freckles, sonnyboy.

#0: Rudolf Noureev, anytime but especially circa 1965.


Nec Plus Ultra

Here we reach the point where my ladyparts literally melt. This guy is arguably the greatest dancer of the 20th century, if not the greatest ever. And he was certainly the most beautiful (yeah, here I say beautiful) XY chromosomes bearer ever. My ovaries think he was a god.

Do I see a pattern? Muscular and lean and angular faced and badass, with a great aging potential. Oh so DNA…

6 Responses to “A Top-5 of male DNA providers…”

  1. Madame Suggia March 14, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    I’ll see your Brad Pitt in Fight Club (loved him towards the end where he wears some kind of enormous marabou-trimmed collar-fierce!) and I’ll raise you, in no particular order, Daniel Craig in Casino Royale (oh come on!); John Malkovich in Dangerous Liasons; and Edie Izzard anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Preferably in full-on drag, but let’s not be too picky here.

    Thank goodness my advanced years means that the uterus is now officially closed for business, or I could get into a whole lotta trouble with these boys…

    • Miss Eliza Wharton March 14, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

      Ah, Craig is a mean bastard, I totally follow you there. I still get a little something extra from the classic man in Connery, but it was close.
      Malkovitch is insanely fascinating, even when he borders ugliness like in Being John Malkovitch (his best movie ever in my book). But my ovaries know nothing about fascination. They’re all about macho beasts…

  2. aurumgirl March 14, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    Okay, if Brad Pitt is a default choice, I suggest Benicio Del Toro as an alternative. That last name is too much XY to overlook, and his face is actually identical to Brad’s, just brunet to Brad’s blond. And oooh, he looks like a bad boy.

    I cannot argue with you on Bowie, Steve McQueen, and Nureyev. I can only add more options. Because any gamete ought to be worth more than just 5 possibilties.

    • Miss Eliza Wharton March 15, 2011 at 4:46 am #

      “Because any gamete ought to be worth more than just 5 possibilties.”
      You got me laughing at that. And you’re right, of course! No decent DNA may overlook someone this gorgeous, especially if his name is del Toro…

  3. winnsome March 15, 2011 at 1:31 am #

    totally agree – ageing potential is an important factor and often overlooked. Never heard of Rudolf Noureev and am indebted to you for that. I love ballet but never look at dancers closeup which will need to change. He’s got some serious arty intenseness (reminds me of Nick Drake).
    All in all a perfect mix of feline/suave/intense/predatory/gun-toting and “what are you looking at?!” – well done my dear
    p.s. question – super young mick jagger? I always looks at guys’ mouths for some reason…

    • Miss Eliza Wharton March 15, 2011 at 5:07 am #

      I’m so glad! I”m such a sucker for Noureev (sometimes you find Nureyev like AuRum writes). You must see him move!! He comes from the strongest russian ballet tradition, ultra classical, but embraced Graham/Cunningham style contemporary later. His the best of both worlds.
      He was known to be an explosive, savage dancer of prodigious abilities.
      And gay I’m afraid. *sigh*

      Ask google for pictures, you may find more details of his anatomy (OMFG).
      As for Jagger, I see your point, but as I told Madam Suggia, down the biochemistry, me want warrior, me want big arms square shoulders.

      Good for me my chemistry doesn’t rule my life. I still would marry Noam Chomsky over Stallone anyday.

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